It seems so easy to be me. I woke up everyday after my alarm rang for an hour, left my home before the sun fully rise, breathing in fresh air when I walked to the MRT. Food is not really necessary because I don't feel hungry easily. Working really fun and motivating too, everyone is very focused in their work. Lunch time seems to be the hour I look forward too every second. I work overtime most of the time because it is really important to be responsible and complete all work before you left the office. Days when I have no work, I will usually head to school. School though far is located at a peaceful corner of Singapore. Shuttle buses are free and projects are always challenging. When I am back home it is usually near 10 at night. Dad and mom are usually not home, which gives me the freedom to really be myself. Days when they are at home, they always ensure that I eat. Nono is the best as she always looks at me with those puppy eyes despite her old age.
I have a great life, it seems so.
The alarm rang for an hour before I woke up because it has been years since I ever have enough sleep for 3 consecutive days. Fresh air at wee hours seem healthy, but my heart suffocates every day I am alive. I don't eat breakfast daily just to save that couple of dollars so that I can have savings from those pathetic jobs that I worked. Working is definitely motivating as you don't know what your "colleagues" will say about you and all you can do is to work damn hard and make them feel you cannot be stepped on. Every colleague is focusing on their work because they won't care who the hell you are as your existence don't matter to them. Lunch is fun because this is the only hour that most people are out of the damn office where I can finally feel less suffocated. I work overtime because I am given workloads equivalent to a full-timer even though I work only part-time. School is really at a peaceful corner but all you see are faces who you really can't give a damn for. Projects are challenging in a way that you need to fulfill all criteria according to the matrices and textbook which don't allow for any creativity. When they are at home, it kills me the most as I will be forced to smile, talk and eat after working my brain for more than 14 hours a day. If not I have to listen to their never-ending quarrels which haunts me since young. Threatens for separation seems so common. I thought I am immune to all these shits already. What a lie. Nono seems to be the only one that I don't really have to force myself to smile/talk.
That's life.
I got stabbed for not spending enough time with my friends, for always been cold to strangers. But if I really have that stability in life, do you think I will still be who I am today?
I don't belong here.
