Turn brief moments into perpetualty;

hello!

threlaxed.blogspot.com

I turn off the time to wake up before the alarm clock ressounds
I don't know why but I can already remember you
I wonder if, before I know it, I'll forget even the miracle of being able to meet you for one hundred minutes
Will I end up forgetting even that I've forgotten?

Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there's no way to feel you ever again, ah
I'm locking up those days that are still a bit warm

Tired of walking, I sat down and was at a loss, if you were with me
We could have talked about something like our unbearable dream's fate
I couldn't say it by the ticket barrier, I wanted to say
that I feel "Thank you" are maybe words much sadder than "goodbye"

Heavenly days, I wonder if I could smile properly
At the scene of our last kiss, I couldn't even grasp your shivering hands, not even my tears fell, ah
Now that it's too late, they overflow when I'm alone

Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there's no way to feel you ever again, ah
Even if I stretch out my hands, you're not here anymore
I'll walk on under a new light

证明给我看好码？
Friday, September 30, 2011
2:57 AM

Be it once, twice or thrice, I know what my heart says. For an insecure someone, can you do it? Please. 我不需要你的钱，也不需要你的时间，我要你给我的是幸福。

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

rainy days

Wednesday, September 28, 2011
12:27 AM

I love to watch different shades of colors from my window whenever it rains. Each umbrella passed by quickly, raindrops tapped rhythmically on my window pane. Especially on a lazy afternoon, or during the night falls when you are left alone at home, you can feel the inner self expressing a state of harmony. Life is tiring. To live with expectations, and to get disappointed when your expectations arent met. Issit better off without expectations? Uh-uh. Nope-Nope. Because expectations grew hope, built faith, bridged bonds, instill a sense of belonging and achievement. Expectations keep me going, keep me thinking about th future. It paths the way of your future, and slowly bring you towards the destination. Up till now, how much do you know about me? I dont need anyone to understand me, or know me. I just need one person to do so. If not, I will still feel as if Im the only one in my world, looking at the rain, again and again, like a vicious cycle that feeds on itself, because there is no one there who proves me wrong.

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

缺乏安全感的人

Monday, September 26, 2011
12:01 AM

缺乏安全感的人

1、不相信爱情
2、吃很多或者不吃
3、念旧
4、习惯抱臂
5、怕黑
6、莫名其妙的孤单
7、喜欢抱着东西睡觉
8、不爱说话或很爱说话
9、喜欢角落
10、喜欢窗户
11、习惯冷战
12、习惯晚睡
13、喜欢写字和阅读
14、独自流泪
15、笑容甜美
16、喜欢黑白或者鲜艳
17、吃饭总坐餐厅的同一个地方,坐公交也是同一个位置

There are many stages of love. I define them over time.

If a relationship lasts for the first half a year, it is attributed to chemisty and passion.

If a relationship lasts for the first year, it is because personality, attitudes and behaviour are acceptable.

If a relationship lasts for one and half year, it reflects a similar direction and goal, and actions are congruent, proving that you are really working towards the goal.

If a relationship lasts for two years, . . . . Hmmm sorry, I dont have any experience with this, because no one is able to prove to me that the relationship can last for more than one and half year.

It makes me realise, over time, it is not only love that matters. There are a lot more factors to be taken in consideration. And a longer a relationship is, the easier is it to let go, because you had understand it's not love that make you lost her/him. It's the habits, perceptipn, personality. Some things cant be forced. Some things cant be changed in life. And the only way is to let go, set the other person free. And because of this, it makes things easier. Dont say Im heartless. I let go, and moved on easily as Im convinced there will be no future. I dont wna waste time and effort on false hopes, it only makes things terrible for everyone. That's lying, isnt it? However, it doesnt means there isnt love. Because there is love, thats why we are able to move on to another stage. Perhaps that love isnt strong enough, thats why we are unable to compromise on other factors. Stop lying to yourself, let go.

Let go, let go and let go. Life still needs to go on. But, when the night sets down, when the rainn fall, this is when you feel, perhaps it isnt right to be so realistic. It only gna lasts a moment, a tiny moment in life. And this tiny moment of life is what that brought me here, to blog. I sat down, and really reflect, and write about all that I didnt show. Dont bother trying, because you are unable to comprehend. Because I dont know myself too. It is conflicting, to balance between your heart, the realistic choices, what's right, and what's best for others. Who is the saint who is able to do that?

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

I dislike Waiting

Sunday, September 25, 2011
7:36 PM

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

fun?

Friday, September 23, 2011
1:19 AM

Fun only exists when you are with the right group of people. Im a lucky one. I never thought of being able to find a clique of friends in uni which i can freely express my randomness and craziness. i forget how i did it. I cant differentiate if i m the one who open up first or it is the level of comfort they made me feel that open me up gradually. hmmm? perhaps it doesnt matter. i enjoyed myself with them, all th random thoughts, nonsensical jokes, teamwork in projects. although there are still times which i really doubt myself. i cant trust my intuItion anymore. My judgements with people dont seem to be accurate at all. Can i do this? WilL this upset them? how much shld i open up? how much can they accept? thats me : im not acting/ faking. i have emotions, they are true, they are real, maybe just different from many of you. But this doesnt make my emotions less worthy. thinking too much once again. when can i free myself from all the haunting comment on my tainted past? i know i shldnt be bothered cause they dont know me, they dont know my story.

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

hardrock hotel

Tuesday, September 20, 2011
1:51 AM

Im back from resort world sentosa. The 2D1N there has been a luxury, yet I cant find any happiness within. Am I that hard to please? Perhaps Im struggling financially. It pains me to spend (even not my finances) or to see people I love spending so so so much. But I know there are more reasons leading to my unhappiness.

I realise Im not ready to face it, after so many years. Why am I taking so long to adapt to things? Yet moving on so quickly on the outside. I dont understand myself. Regardless is family, relationship or schoolwork, I wonder how I can mask my insecurities so well that it really seems that Im adapting and fitting in. Sometimes, Im fooled by myself too. But when I reflect and think back, I know Im not ready yet. I know I have not settle down yet. My heart still hurts, badly. At least tears dont flow down anymore. Because I had learnt to deal with the pain expressionlessly.

It has been a torture, to be adapting well, and to think back of what things could have been it abcdefg didnt happen. It has been a torture, when you need to smile, laugh, joke, and think of how different things are in the past. Do you remember we used to smile, laugh, joke together in the past? And do you remember when all these stop? Why can we still smile, laugh and joke right now, but once, in the past, we stopped. Why do we lose that moment of happiness? Things changed. And it proceeds to the situation right now. If I had done something in the past. If I can do something in the past, will it be too late? Or at least, I can make some changes to it? Do you remember...? Do you still remember...? Because I do, everything is still so vividly etched in my memories. Everything still hurts, badly.

I have gave everything I have to forgive, but Im sorry, I still cant forget. Whatever that had happened, no matter happiness/unhappiness, 5/10years ago, I still cant forget. Dont hurt me, i really beg, because there are still so many open wounds on me. For all things people said/did to me, i will always always remember... The bad ones, it's really a torture.

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

Perhaps you're from Mars

Saturday, September 17, 2011
1:58 AM

To the slowest but funniest guy on Earth, you shld really migrate to Mar.s

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

Again & Again

Tuesday, September 13, 2011
11:39 PM

Life still goes on ...

There are things that are always repeated, just like an endless cycle.

Projects, Adapting, Emoing, Stalking, Emoing (again), Procastinating, Stressing, Projects (again), Adapting (again) and Again & Again.

There are things that required Changed, just like an endless cycle as well. o.O

Finding new ideas, Rejected, Research, Failed, Read news article, No good result, Study for quiz, Failed, Study for another quiz, Maybe pass but average marks, Study for another another quiz. And Changed goes on Again & Again.

If life is "Again & Again", Why do we only have one life (while cats are said to have nine lifes)? Why some encourage us to make as many mistakes as possible, while some hesistate to make decision due to the fear of a mere failure. Life is contradicting, again & again.

Let me pose a question.

Not knowing things give you the possibilities of being fooled. Knowing just a little (not indept) build a temptation that kills you inside. Knowing more things give you the space for imagination which may lead to emoness. Would you want to know more, or nothing?

I choose to know everything. Because I cant bear to let myself get hurt anymore. I rather I know everything, as this gives me a sense of security as if I would have control if I am able to find out more. Although the reality does not really depict a relationship between knowing everything and having control, at least this makes me feel safe.

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

so long

Sunday, September 11, 2011
1:25 PM

It took us so long to find someone who truly care, truly yours and most important, someone you can totally surrender your heart to. When this happens, Learn to let go, but dont totally let go. He will always be back no matter what. You shld trust this love, and love this trust.

I listened to many songs of Taylor Swift. I love the way of how love is conveyed through dedications, I dedicated many songs to you secretly. But you know of none. I think of you day and night, but you know of none. I planned alot of things for you to show you how deep you are immersed within my heart, but you know of none. I imagined of our future millions of times, but you know of none. When people asked if I consider marriage with you, I denied mindfully. When approached with strangers, all my heart was you you and you, but I admit none of you. I guess that's my greatest problem. But Im glad that despite all this, you still trust. And no one ever has given me the same level of trust you gave. It's been so long, so long.

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

my problem

Friday, September 9, 2011
3:28 AM

I know my problem and all along, I had been avoiding it, because it seems to be the best way for me to protect myself. Hahaha, and being friends for years, you had see through me and my changes along the way. Sorry that I dont tell anymore. Sorry that I close my heart and disengage myself from everyone else's - new friends/old friends. Sorry that I avoided and tried to do stupid things like acting cute unconsciously when I dont know how to react to a situation. Perhaps it's just a facade, an illusion. My behaviour was off, and my thoughts you can never comprehend. I have really no other way to tell you how I feel, and what is happening around me as it had been a habit that built up over misunderstandings and fears over the years. All I can say is, you reminded me about this and perhaps it's time for me to change. Clearing the unspoken fears and making air breathable for us. It had been a burden off our heart and I thank you for that, Take care. I will never forget your words. We are friends for life and too bad, we would be tortured till the day we die (sorry perhaps only you).

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

demoralising

Thursday, September 8, 2011
1:29 AM

1.30 am and I am still awake. I admit that Im sleep deprived recently. But Im sure this is not the only factor that attribute to my restlessness and slow processing speed of my brain. It had been demoralising. I have high expectation of myself but I cant seem to attain them anymore. Ability to focus had really become a big problem. I feel tired easily. As if Im dying or suffering from some illness though. After Wayne Jane's experience in hospital, it really makes me realise the importance of health and the law of unexpectancy(semantha's self created law). Im afraid something will happen to me. And Guess what? I bought health insurance in case I am admitted into hospital (for major illness) so that 80% of hopitalisation fees will be covered.

Well, Uni had been torturous, not because it is difficult. But because I start to believe that I am not as workaholic afterall. I dont long to go into the workforce like I used to do alrdy. I just wanted to have a simple life. I dont need high income. I just need my family, and all of them to feel safe and happy. So why the hell did I go Uni? Is that really what I want? Or is it a moment of thoughts AGAIN? haha, why am I always changing? But this thought had been constant for more than half a year alrdy? Will it be stablized? Have I really tamed down? Sighs.

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

Being perfect

Sunday, September 4, 2011
11:24 PM

We talk about being good to each other. We ask if we are treating each other well. We reflect if we care enough for each other. We consider the postion we are in when we are with each other. There's alot definition of being perfect. While for mine, that's being with you - my perfect mate. Im always astonished by how our imperfection complements each other. Your gentleness never fail to refine my never dying resolute. Im always surprised by your craziness and hysterical behaviour whenever you are around me. Did I bring light to your life? Is liveliness contagious? If it is, I would be very eager to tell you this. You are the only soul I wish to ignite. You are the only focus I wish the spotlight would never stop shining on. You are the only planet that the sun would ever fight for so that there would never be an esclipse again, even if the nature works doesnt this way. You are the only one in this world that would get me so infatuated. I am totally enchanted by you, as the worst thing is, Im willing to do so. With all my heart, I really thank you for being with me. Sticky Wayne Jane. My sticky boy, being so sticky even when we arent with each other. You really need a wash right now. Hahaha.

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

fate

Thursday, September 1, 2011
1:52 AM

Sighs, It's fate.

I breathe from my memories & run wherever my legs would bring me ♥
雨天

devil ; fly

♥ 我爱雨天
雨天我就想一个人
只有一个人我才能全心爱自己
雨天把我忘了吧

rainn
Plain bitter tea and full cream milk tea are both chosen decisions which I fancy. Im not a dreamy person who dazes every single moment. Im just someone living in my own world where fantasies are painted. I had lived in my dreams and for my dreams. Not an initiative person in socialising, waiting for someone to break through th façade is th only comfortable way out.

favourites
.paranoia` .tabulas`. msn/email
.facebook`.friendster`.tagged

不要哭泣
也不过是一年前的你
忘了一年后的我