Once again, this feeling is overwhelming me. Im going through some kinda Change again. If this is a process I need to go through to prove that I've grown up, I rather remain kiddy forever. Being so cold inside, so immune to life, where I'd got nothing more to expect, nothing more to look forward to, when everything I did isnt enjoyable anymore, where the only person chasing after me is only myself, just like Im the only soul in my world, Im the only one holding on to my memories and everyone elses forget about them. I am anticipating to be just like our memories, so that I will be erased one day. I dont wna be in anyone's world, the feeling is so torturous. It makes me feel more alone emotionally than when Im physically alone. I reflect again and again, I still feel so cold, as if no one understands me. I feel so alone, as if no one is there for me. Independent? I had long past that stage. I can handle all things myself, just that now, Im losing the feeling of trust. Hold on. When did I even trust anyone? Maybe trust isnt a reason for this Change, I had lost trust dont know since when. And whos's the saint that says trying hard will make things better? Whos the optimist that says opening up to others will be the solution? Thats certainly Bullshit. I'd been opening up, but all I'd get in return is basically nothing. Is there a corelation between opening up and you will know me better? Im sorry, in my life, it has not happen before. As if people knows me, As if people tries to even know me. Im not judgemental, the proof is there, I cant see your effort and I can proudly show it to you. Ask yourself, What do you know about me? Nothing. What do you know about my story? Nothing.

When I feel so alone, all I have is Nono, who will be always in my sight. Just for me, only me, to give me this ever safe hug that I will be fine, because she really loves me, like how much I love her. I love you nono.