Turn brief moments into perpetualty;

hello!

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I turn off the time to wake up before the alarm clock ressounds
I don't know why but I can already remember you
I wonder if, before I know it, I'll forget even the miracle of being able to meet you for one hundred minutes
Will I end up forgetting even that I've forgotten?

Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there's no way to feel you ever again, ah
I'm locking up those days that are still a bit warm

Tired of walking, I sat down and was at a loss, if you were with me
We could have talked about something like our unbearable dream's fate
I couldn't say it by the ticket barrier, I wanted to say
that I feel "Thank you" are maybe words much sadder than "goodbye"

Heavenly days, I wonder if I could smile properly
At the scene of our last kiss, I couldn't even grasp your shivering hands, not even my tears fell, ah
Now that it's too late, they overflow when I'm alone

Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there's no way to feel you ever again, ah
Even if I stretch out my hands, you're not here anymore
I'll walk on under a new light

6 years
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
1:19 AM

It has been six years. and six years ago, was when my life started to change drastically. My soul tumbled and it got lost for quite some time, till the point it was impossible to revert myself to who I was again. It took me nearly six years to create a new life, new identity, a new soul. It is difficult to get to who I am today. Im not willing to change my opinions, or myself for anyone elses. Neither would I require anyone to change for me. I emphasize alot on one's soul. Because I feel the need to cherish my soul as Im not willing to face the feeling of losing everything I once have again. Until that comes by, no one but yourself can pull you through this. I survive but I have to admit it's still painful. But at least, Im able to conceal my emotions when I need to talk about it. And Im able to keep it deep in my heart, without revealing any thoughts to anyone.

I never thought I would be this upset, until the day I got myself back. It makes me realise, the last six years I have lived is so empty because it could never be the same again. I guess I ought to grow up and is still in the process of growing up. Everyone needs to leave their mother, just that I encounter this earlier.

I wonder if my soul has really settled. Because everytime I reflect about my life, it feels as if Im one step nearer to feeling better, just like today. It should be a good thing afterall.

Some scars would never leave. Some insecurities would never be sealed. Some actions would never change. Some love will never leave. Some people will always be in your heart. I love you mama.

Im sorry for being a self-centered person. Looks at the number of "I" in this post. This is me, and I guess I need this little space here to just talk and think about myself.